Masochist
by Alyss Madigan
Summary: What one of Kel's friends thinks of her from beginning to end. Through his eyes.
1. Year One

_So this is it. My very first Multi-Chapter story. Oh dear, I am so excited. I loved writing this, and I hope ya'll like it! Title is totally outta the blue, really doesn't have much a meaning. A real attention getter though. =]  
_

_Review please._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Tamora Pierce's characters.  
_

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**Year one**

So it began today. The day I would become an official page. I had come to the palace a couple days before eager and scared at the same time. I wasn't sure what lay ahead, but I welcomed it whole-heartedly, I _wanted _the pain to come. I was looking forward to broken fingers and bruises. My marks of hard work.

Gods, I am such a masochist.

I shook my head, I was in a long hall standing outside what would be my room for the four years I would be spending here in Corus. Looking around I saw other boys my age, I blinked, no, there were only three boys, to my right wasn't a boy it was a... _girl. _I ended up staring. I got the feeling she was pretending not to notice, or, she really didn't notice. I didn't have time to ponder this because from down the hall I heard foot steps and voices, quickly I straightened myself and forced myself to look straight ahead as Lord Wyldon and the older pages came in. Faleron had told me about this, the first thing done tonight, before dinner, was the task of picking sponsors for the new comers. I didn't need help, no more than that girl needed to be here. But I got a sponsor anyway, at least it was some one I knew, Faleron my cousin. Even the _girl _got a sponsor, a smart mouth boy who, to me, seemed too old to be a page.

After sponsors were assigned the group of pages, I myself included, went to the mess hall to eat dinner. But _of course _the girl and her snotty sponsor _had _to be late, preventing us all from eating until they arrived. I shared the feelings of the grumbling pages next to me.

Little did I know that things would get much worse. And then _much _better... And then _much _worse, _again._

Training started well enough, for me and the other first years... Except Kel. Yes the girl has a name. I didn't like her at first, it seemed to me she was always showing off, but if I looked closer just a bit, an emotion, barely there, would leak through. She wasn't trying to show off. What got me furious with this girl wasn't the fact that she was a natural warrior, it was the fact that she couldn't stand to see other people get picked on. She had to help the defenseless. So, naturally, it _had _to be me.

An older page by the name of Joren was constantly hazing me. Every one knew hazing the first years was all apart of being a first year, but Kel didn't like the way Joren and his friends did it. She thought they took it way too far. The worst part about that is, I agreed with her. But I didn't know I agreed with her. You see, she saved, yes _saved, _me from Joren. She just sort of waded into them and tried taking three nearly grown boys all at once. On _more _than one occasion. After the second incident, I realized something.

I wasn't the masochist. She was.

The funny thing about that girl? She didn't care what people said about her. She took it and let it shape her... I liked her for that. I _begrudgingly _liked her for that. I thought we were the same, except she was a girl and I wasn't.

She was well tempered. I wasn't.

It took me a while but eventually I joined her and Neal's study group, which gradually got bigger. Now I had invaluable friends that I sensed I would go through alot with. We were always sticking up for eachother... mainly Kel. Our group became closer as each summer passed, I wish I knew then what I know now. I could have saved us a lot of trouble.

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_I think how I'm gonna do this, is Chpt. 1 will be Year one. Chpt 2 will be The First Summer and so on. Each chapter will be a small snippet of what's going through... the secret characters mind._

_I don't know if I want to reveal who the character is until the end.... Oh well, I think I gave some pretty big hints in there... okay, REALLy big hints. Like, Billboard hints. But I wont say the characters name until near the end. Just to be sneaky. =]_

_Alyss M.  
_


	2. The First Summer

**The First Summer**

As a page training under Lord Wyldon you would think that I would be prepared for just about anything. I thought I was. I didn't take into account that we may actually have to fight immortals. Well we did, and it had to be one of the most terrifying creatures in Tortall. Spidren.

I hate Spidren.

Fortunatley we were working with the Kings Own, made of mostly big fellows who have seen a week or two of hard work. I looked at them, then I looked at the pages I stood with. As well trained as we were, my bet was on the Kings own. Not my scrawny arms. Of course I wasn't given any time to point this out as they put a spear in one hand and a torch in the other and then a whole pack of torches on my back. The insructions for us younger pages was simple, yet important.

We would be sentries.

The Own placed us along the boundries of the Spidrens nest just above the valley, giving us strict instructions to keep our eyes on the trees.

I would like to say that I performed my duties well and sufficiently... I would be lying if I said that. On more than one occasion I would turn to the battle below me, and get so lost in it that Kel would have to yell at me to get me to focus. I was able to, after a Spidren and it's friends flew out of the tree's above us.

Yummy. Scrawney pages for supper.

I'm not sure what happened next. I fought a Spidren. I'm pretty sure I won. I fought another spidren, maybe. It all happened so fast I didn't have time to think, only time to survive. Before I knew it, we had won. Kel was smiling, I smiled back.

Then I collapsed.

Yes, I collapsed. I let my knees give way and I sat down... Laid down. Seaver was next to me, then Neal joined us, then Kel. We just laid there, happy to be alive.

Then Wyldon snapped at us to get moving and help get everything in order.

Clean up was simple. Mostly because I didn't have to do it. I just made sure the horses were ready and that my weapons were clean. The other pages had to do the same thing.

In no time we had delivered the news to the village that they wouldn't be bothered by Spidren again. They were quite happy about that. Then we were on our way back to the palace. Along the way, we talked. That is, Kel, Neal, Seaver and I talked. About what? I don't know. We just talked. Maybe it was to distract us from the nightmare we had just gone through.

I think it was because we were tired.

Back at the palace, on the last day of my first year, I looked around my room and knew I would miss it. I would miss my new friends. I would miss getting broken fingers and toes. I would even miss that grumpy ol' gelding Kel loved so much.

No I wouldn't. Not that evil thing.

I gave my room one last sweep to make sure I didn't miss anything. Then I closed my trunk and let the servants take it away. My father and mother were waiting in the courtyard, ready to take me back home.

That I missed.


	3. Year two

**Year Two**

It's not like I expected anything else, but I wasn't expecting _this _to happen either. I knew Kel was on probation, and I really wanted her to come back. But no one, not even me, believed Lord Wyldon would allow her to go on with her training. So when she did show up for second year it took me a minute to realize what had happened.

Kel was back.

And I could tell she was going to be an unstoppable force. This year, next year, the year after that. She was going to take the Traditionalists words and shove them back down their throats. I laughed at the thought as I made my way to her room. There she was, with her glaive, that nasty pig sticker you never wanted to be anywhere near. She looked at me gave a nod and sat her weapon down. I nodded back and walked into the room, making sure the door was open. As I stood in front of her, I realized that we were both the same age, eleven, but she was slightly taller than me.

Great. That's just what I wanted. To be shorter than a girl.

We talked for a moment, but I left just as Neal entered. I glanced back as he sat down on Kel's bed while she fed her birds. I marched off, let them talk. Be alone. That's fine with me, I thought. I don't care. The truth is...

I did care. A lot.

But Kel couldn't know that. Nor any one else for that matter.

I sighed as I shoved my hands into my breeches pockets. I was going to have to get rid of this ridiculous, _feeling_, in the pit of my stomach. She was my friend. Nothing else. Ever.

I bumped into something, I meant someone. Numair Salmalin.

Perfect.

I bowed, "Master Salmalin. Forgive me, I didn't see you." He didn't answer, he seemed pre-occupied. Not sure, I decided to skirt around him. Yes I know it was rude, but when I'm around the big mage I don't feel right. I feel sluggish. I made my escape unseen.

Master Salmalin was definitely pre-occupied.

I was making my way back to my own room when the dinner bell rang. God's curse it! I turned right back around and stomped to the dining hall. I was in a pretty stormy mood, but with a bit of dinner in my belly and a few comments and smiles from Kel I was content.

I pinched my arm as hard as I could. _None of that you!_ I told my self.

Luckily Kel didn't notice I was suddenly silent. And sweaty.

The next few weeks were pure torture. We had lead weights added to these special vests. I knew these vests simulated the effect of armor and I would appreciate that we were made to train with them later. But right now, I wasn't feeling very grateful. I wasn't feeling mad either. Just plain tired. But did this bother me? Not at all!

I'm a masochist remember?

Another torture device we were introduced to was the lance. I thought my arms were going to fall off the first night after we practiced on practice dummies. I lay in bed and thought to myself, "_A couple dozen bruises on my back coupled with lead weights for arms? Easy! No problem. GOD'S CURSE IT!" _I had moved my arm the wrong way and searing pain shot up through my fingers to my shoulder. "_If this is what regular classes and training is going to be like, I am ready for the summer. Bring it on. OW!" _Another wrong movement on my part. "_Just be still. No movement. shh._" I fell asleep that night with my entire body throbbing and protesting the slightest movement.

Yeah, no problem.

Summer, here I come.

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_Haha so I really enjoyed writing this one. I mean, I REALLY, enjoyed it. Some of it was nothing but speculation on my part, guessing and me are buddies. _

_Any way, I would appreciate reviews!_

_God bless,_

_Alyss M._


	4. The Second Summer

_Oh my gosh, this chapter took forever for me to get it right. I would sit down, ready to add on to what I had written but end up erasing it all and start over! But here it is, finally, please enjoy!_

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**The Second Summer**

Perhaps it was just me, or perhaps not. But bandits don't seem to take kindly to strangers who stumble onto their campgrounds. By strangers, of course, I mean Kel, Faleron, Neal, Prosper, Owen, Seaver and I.

It was supposed to be a _simple_ mission, go out and map the surrounding area while looking for food and water.

Yeah, sure, simple.

I thought Lord Wyldon knew us better than that.

I guess not.

So as I have said before, our little band of merry men, and Kel, set out on our assigned mission only to stumble onto a group of bandits camp. We tried to get away as quietly as we could but, of course we didn't. A hungry looking dog barked the alarm.

We ran.

Don't be so critical. How were we supposed to know that there were a bunch of hollow bellied, blood thirsty bandits in an area that was _supposed_ to be bandit free? Well we weren't so get over it. We ended up with our backs to a cliff, which was something of a good thing, the badits couldn't sneak up on us from behind, but there was one other thing.

We were trapped.

I froze, not sure what to do, but luckily Kel has a cool head in battle. She saved our skins by taking command after Faleron resigned his leadership of the group. I trust Kel, in all honesty I do, but I truly believed we were going to die that day. Especially after I got an arrow through my shoulder. When was that? Before or after we climbed the cliff by way of an old goat trail?

The only thing I really remember was a green light, searing pain mixed with soothing cold, combined with a jumble of images that I still can't make sense of to this day. The next thing I remember, I was on a cot back at our base camp with my friends huddled around me. "Merric? How are you?" Kel asked, "Please. This is nothing." I whispered hoarsely, "You should come visit Hollyrose during the summer." I told her. She smiled, and my heart skipped a beat, "Maybe I will." Was the last thing I hear before I went back to sleep.

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_So I have a couple of confessions, 1) I was horribly lazy with this chapter so if it seems dull and uninteresting, I apologize. _

_2) This would be an excellent time to point out that I have a SERIOUS soft spot for red heads; Merric, Leeland, Shaun White. yeah._

_Please review, constructive criticism welcomed. _

_God Bless,_

_Alyss M._


	5. Year Three

_This chapter was rather fun to type up. Getting into Merric's heart mind and soul. I had fun writing this, just like any of the other chapters._

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**Year Three**

So I invited Kel to Hollyrose, I must've been half-mad when I asked her. I was dreading her coming to visit, but to my relief (and grief) she was unable to come over our summer break. She sent me a short letter expressing her regret upon being unable to visit. She seemed truly sorry.

But my heart was playing with my reason.

Kel did not think of me the way I thought of her.

I carried her letter with me everywhere that summer, and all through third year. I would take it out during math before I fell into a daydream, the letter was my reminder. Soon we would be seperated, each to his (and her) own knight master. After that we would be fellow soldiers.

I pushed the foreign feelings away, and forced my self to grow up.

Gods, I _hated_ growing up.

But for the sake of becoming a knight and living up to my fathers name, I did so with as much dignity I could muster. I hid my feelings well, _extremely _well.

But I could not hide my feelings from everyone.

Faleron found me out one night as I was sprawled across my bed staring at Kels letter which lay grandly on the floor.

Needless to say his teasing has not ceased, even to this very day.

But as a third year page, it was pure torture when I would ask Kel's help on a certain math problem. I would turn around and Faleron would be batting his eyes, and puckering his lips at me.

I was somewhat surprised when he started doing this, especially after what happened at the stables.

The rotten fool.

But I got over it, resorting to burning with embarrassment instead of throwing quills at him. I learned fast that such behavior got me weird looks from my class mates and friends.

I suffered that year, not only because of Faleron's teasing and Kel's indifference. But because it was announced on my twelfth birthday I was betrothed to a rather dull looking girl by the name of Eliana. She was short, pale, with flat looking black hair and rounded eyes that to little lashes and was a boring shade of grey.

Great. Life long suffering.

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_Well I hope you enjoyed that! I do feel sorry for Eliana though, poor little dull thing. But don't worry, there is hope for both her and Merric._

_Tell me if this chapter seemed a little too feminine to you. But since most of my audience is made of girls, I'm not too concerned, though I do want a realistic POV. _

_Let me know what you think!_

_Alyss M. _


	6. The Third Summer

**The Third Summer**

If you asked me what happened that summer with the pages, I wouldn't even be able to tell you. All I remember from that summer is coming home to Hollyrose to find a most unwelcome visitor.

Eliana. Bleh.

I know I was being mean, but she was just so... DULL. I don't know how many times I said such to my parents and friends.

I had to sit through endless conversations of theology and politics with the Queen of Boring. It always, "Well Mithros said such and such..." or "Sir Gareth the Younger is a so and so".

If dullness could kill, I would be dead six times over.

I think I fell asleep once or twice, waking up to find that Eliana was still talking.

So naturally, I went back to sleep.

I thought the summer months I had left would be spent with my eyes closed, but Eliana surprised me one day. She came up to me, her hands neatly folded infront of her, her boring grey eyes so lifeless looking at me. "Would you like to come on a picnic with me and my mother?" she asked, her monotone voice making me wince. I wanted to refuse, but my own mother was boring holes into the back of my head.

"Of course." I answered politely, and, I could have sworn I was just imagining things, but I thought I saw her eyes light up, just a little. But it passed as quickly as it came.

You would think that a picnic would be fun and relaxing, being outside in the sun, eating, laughing.

Eliana and her mother redefined boring.

Everytime I would try to speak, maybe say something funny, or comment on the weather, I would be answered with a quick phrase of boring politness and then...

Quiet.

Of course the picnic wasn't a total loss, I got to eat delicious food made by our finest chef. I also discovered Eliana wasn't as dull as I had presumed.

I was eating a particularaly fat turkey leg, when Eliana's mother stood and announced she would be right back. I watched her go, as I did so a cool breeze made it's way over the picnic, as if breathing new life into our afternoon. Then it occured to me, maybe Eliana was waiting for an invitation to have fun, so I sat up a little straighter and prepared to act like an utter fool I looked at her, she was looking at the sky.

"It's a beautiful day, yes?" I asked.

"Yes. It is."

"It makes me want to write a poem."

"About?"

"I don't know... Perhaps I need to suffer." Something besides being bored to death, but I kept that to myself.

"Why is that?"

"All great poets have suffered some form of a tragedy, but I am so young... Perhaps I should wait to write that poem. And once I have suffered, I shall write a truly amazing poem."

"You don't have to suffer to be a poet; Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."

What I did next, was so unbelievable I thought I had imagined it at first.

I laughed.

I looked over, and Eliana was smiling too. It wasn't a dull smile, nor boring, nor any other word relating. When she smiled everything about her came to life, I didn't want that smile to end. But it did, all too soon.

Maybe that's when it happened. Maybe that was the moment when my feelings for Kel started to slowly fade as the nonexistent feelings I had for Eliana started to actually become _something_.

Nevertheless I was going to make sure Eliana smiled more often.

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_Okay, I am pretty sure that, so far, this is my favorite chapter. So sweet! I surprise myself, normally I like to stay away from romance, but this was too cute to pass up and I think it turned out pretty good. _

_Tell me what ya'll think!_

_God Bless,_

_Alyss Madigan_


	7. Year Four

**The Fourth Year**

You would think, or at least I did, that after everything she went through over the past four years, Kel would have the decency to show up at her own examination!

I went through my own test with sweaty hands and blurry vision, but did so with out passing out.

Even Neal made it through with out so much as a sarcastic comment.

I thought it was because he was too nervous to do anything except answer the questions thrown at him, but as soon as every page was finished and people were looking for the girl Kel, Neal told me what was really going on.

"Lalasa has been kidnapped." He said, but he didn't have to explain, I knew Kel as well as he did.

That stupid girl!

I was angry to say the least, but Lady Ilane was white with fury when Neal explained that someone had kidnapped Kel's maid to prevent her from attendig. Lady Ilane took off at an impossible speed, Lord Piers, Neal and I following at a slower pace.

We searched high and low but finally found Kel passed out at the foot of Balors needle.

A sudden realization hit me, even before Lalasa had started to explain what had happened.

Kel wasn't a masochist.

She was impossibly brave.

I knew then, that I could never love Kel.

She was as psychotic as she was brave, if her squire years don't kill her, her knighthood might.

And I couldn't live with someone like that.

I remember thinking to my self how she couldn't let the weak be bullied, how she had to be the one to intervene. One day, she's going to be put in charge of a group of people.

People she can't help but love.

One day, those people are going to be kidnapped or bullied, when that day comes...

May the god's be with those who get in Kel's way.

The psychotically brave girl, whom I call friend.

I started the summer and the next four years with a knight master named Donnigan of Mindelan. I know, how can he be from Mindelan, a new Feif? Well, as it happens to be, he is a distant cousin of Lord Piers who took him in three years ago.

He was a kind man, he was short but his well built figure made up for that, he had green eyes and curly brown hair.

He also had a wicked sense of humor.

Maybe my years as a squire wouldn't be too bad, I thought.

Then I caught a glimpse of his training session.

I would be black and blue all over before the first morning bell sounded.

Oh well, that's what you get for being a masochist.

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_I am so sorry that this took forever! I just couldn't find the right words, even now I'm still wanting to erase and start over. _

_But I wont. _

_Because you guys have waited long enough. ^_^_

_God Bless,_

_Alyss Madigan_


	8. Squire pt 1

**Squire**

A dark shroud encased my entire being, weighing down on my thoughts and dreams, it was sqeezing the very breath out of me.

That dark shroud was my lord Donnigan teaching me how to fight without a weapon.

I wasn't very good.

"Come on boy! Keep your knuckles up!" He laughed.

"I can't when you've pinned them down!" I complained.

Donnigan slapped the back of my head, I don't how he did it with me pinned to the ground though.

"No excuses!"

He then took my hand in his _giant_ hand and stood up, hauling me up with him. "You're getting better I think." he said with obvious pleasure as he clapped a hand on my shoulder, "It took me twice as long to pin you this time."

It took him only half a minute to knock me to the ground.

"It's been a month since we started this training. When will I be able to pin _you _down?" I asked, walking into the shade of a nearby tree.

"Never."

It was a beautiful summer day in Riversedge, a few miles on horseback from Mindelan.

This is where Sir Donnigan liked to train, away from the hubbub and society of court. I remember asking him if he was afraid of parties and other social gatherings, like Lord Raol. Donnigan laughed at that, "Oh I love parties." he said, "It's just that sometimes when you train infront of the wig wearers and powdered faces of the Lords and Ladies..." He paused, "Let's just say they don't like to believe that war is surrounding them. They'd rather live in their fancy box." His eyes were burning with such intensity, I didn't press the matter.

The tree we were sitting under now provided us a bit of comfort before we continued our training.

Sir Donnigan had our training schedule worked out; hand to hand training in the morning, rest, bow training (Which was really just hunting for dinner) followed by staff training. In the afternoon, after lunch, was various weapons training, we worked with the axe, throwing knife, dagger, and sword.

We were usually done by dinner, to which we would make a fire and cook the game we caught.

This had gone on for two months, Donnigan said we were nearly done, "I wanted you prepared for the Scanran border." He said that night, "We leave in two days time." We were on our horses, back to Mindelan when he said this.

That meant I got a whole day to rest and another to pack.

There was no way that was going to be enough time.

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The Scanran border was a boring piece of forgotten land, that I looked at for near four months.

I understand why it was forgotten.

Nothing really exciting happened in our part of the land; a few enemy stragglers stumbled into our patrol, but mostly we helped fix up a village we were near.

The whole time we were there I was covered in mud.

And I smelled.

All the pretty girls in the village ran away when they saw me coming. So needless to say I was quite grumpy for four months.

I was livid when we didn't go to the Midwinter festival that year.

Not only would I not be able to see my friends, but Eliana would be there, and I wouldn't.

I found that her letters were more lively then her person.

And I wanted to know if she was only dull when her mother was around. But now that I wasn't going to see her this winter I decided a letter would suffice, so when we had finished work for the day and before I started on my lords armor, I sat down at my little desk in my little room and wrote.

_Eliana,_

_I am sorry that I can't attend the festival this year, but I hope you'll have fun anyway. Don't let your mother get in the way of your enjoyment._

_I am fine, but tired._

_Merric_

Most of my letters consisted of only a few sentences, but Eliana didn't seem to mind, because two weeks before spring I got a letter from her.

_Merric,_

_The festival was a beautiful thing to behold! _

_My mother only attended dinner this year, and she let me stay with the court ladies afterwards. I was so happy, and enjoyed myself so much!_

_I cannot wait for the progress, some of the ladies talked of perhaps staying in one tent._

_I wont. I still prefer the solice of my own tent._

_I hope to see you soon._

_Eliana_

I enjoyed this letter so much that I was itching to get on the road to The Great Progress, as it came to be known.

But luckily I didn't have to wait more than a week before Sir Donnigan announced we would be leaving to join the progress.

* * *

The Great Progress was a wonderful thing to be a part of, I enjoyed seeing my friends again and watching Kel joust.

The only thing that upset me was I didn't see Eliana anywhere the first day. That night I got a note from her, she had to be rushed home to Hollyrose.

Her mother, who had not joined the progress, was very ill.

This meant I wouldn't get to see her until next year during the midwinter festival.

I was disappointed, but hanging out with my friends I forgot of Eliana for a little while.

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The Progress was slow and sometimes boring, but it ended for me when my Lord Donnigan and I were called back to the Scanran border.

When we arrived the village I remembered as bright and happy, was now in ruins.

Grief hung in the air, and suddenly I found myself wondering why I ever thought being a Knight was a glamerous thing.

Donnigan seemed to have read my thoughts, "Get used to it Merric, you'll be seeing a whole lot more of this before you get your sheild."

We set to rebuilding the village _from the ground up; _not only did the villagers help like last time but a group of the kings own was helping out as well.

This cut the process of several months to only four.

By the time we were done it was summer again in Tortall.

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_So I couldn't do it, I was just too excited about this, I wanted to give this to ya'll as fast as possible! _

_Part one of The Squire Years is finished, part two will be out soon!_

_God Bless_

_Alyss Madigan_


	9. Squire pt2

_You guys have no idea how excited I am about this chapter! SUPER SUPER SUPER EXCITED doesn't even cover it. _

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**Squire (part two)**

The summer that year was hot, and working on the border, constantly patrolling to keep ourselves from going crazy wasn't helping with the heat.

But relief came by way of letter; The King was summoning Sir Donnigan to the palace.

I turned fifteen the day we arrived in Corus, and as a gift Donnigan thought it appropriate to throw me in the first pond we passed before we entered the city.

And, of course, by throw I mean shoving me off my horse.

Luckily the water wasn't too shallow.

I rode into the capital soaking wet, with a laughing Knight Master to my left.

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Summer at the palace was boring, it was so hot that I barely went outside except to ride my horse. Even my lord Donnigan did little training in the heat of the day.

So we did it in the early morning.

I remember walking through the pages wing one day, and finding it so quiet and suddenly I found myself before the prettiest girl I could ever imagine. She looked alot like Eliana, only...

Not.

She had beautiful black hair, large round eyes that were a stormy grey framed magnificently by long lashes. Her skin had a slight glow to it, like she spent just enough time outside, her smile seemed to glow as well. She was also wearing a light blue dress framed in silvery lace.

I knew it wasn't Eliana then, she seemed to prefer comfort over fashion.

The girl was smiling again, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get in your way."

I was speechless for a moment, "I- uh..." I cleared my throat, "Good lady, I believe I am in your way." I stepped aside with a flourish that, I hoped, was manly.

The girl giggled but gave a graceful curtsy, before slipping passed me.

"Wait." I said, she turned around a curious look on her face, "Your name, I didn't get it."

She smiled, "I never gave it."

"Might I know what it is?"

"Elsie, kind sir. Might I ask yours?"

"Merric."

Another curtsy "Good day Merric."

She was gone in an instant, leaving me utterly speechless.

And alone.

I lay on my bed that night, my hands sore from polishing Sir Donnigan's armor, day dreaming. "Elsie." I whispered.

"Elsie."

Oh, Mithros help me.

* * *

Two years passed with not much routine, for several months we might have been on the Scanran border, and then called back to the palace and then sent off again towards Mindelan.

Of course it was never boring with Sir Donnigan and his ridiculous pranks, I remember he put two calling horns on his head and snuffed around my tent. The fire behind him made his shadow appear like a minotaurs I panicked and tackled the shadow.

Yes I was still inside my tent.

Donnigan could not stop laughing that night.

I could hear him giggling inside his own tent while I set up mine.

The prat.

* * *

We were in Corus for the MidWinter Festival that year, finally, and I was excited to see my family after being away from them for so long. I was even excited to see Eliana.

But I was more excited to see the girl I had run into two years ago.

Elsie.

Oh how many nights I stayed up thinking about her.

Too many.

I was walking to my family's assigned tabel when I finally saw her. My heart skipped a couple of beats, but you want to know why?

Of course you do.

She sat solemnly in a plain pink dress, looking more gorgeous than pretty, when I noticed who it was she was sitting by.

In between my mother, and Eliana's mother.

I wanted to turn and run when I realized how stupid I had been, but Sir Donnigan was looking at me with a look I knew too well. The "Don't run like a coward boy, or I'll make sure your last year of a squire is pure torture." look.

I took the seat next to my father.

Right across from Eliana... Elsie... What ever her name is.

She was looking at me now, with those big grey eyes. There was a question in them that I could not place, or was it she was thinking of how much I changed like I was thinking of her.

Dinner passed in silence between us, but after we moved into the smaller party room and she had finished speaking with her friends I sat next to her.

"So... Why did you give me a false name?"

"I gave you no such thing."

"Oh?"

"Elsie is my fathers name for me."

"Oh. Are you mad I didn't recognize you?"

"No."

"No?"

"I didn't want you to recognize me."

"Why not?" Such a thing confused me to no end.

"I wanted to surprise you." she said, not looking at me. Before I could ask why she continued, "I convinced mother to let me buy my own dresses before the Great Progress, I guess she liked my taste in clothes because she never complained once about the ones I picked." She sighed and looked at me. "I've gained so many good friends since then. But some I'm afraid only like me because they beleive that by being friends with me it might open doors for prospective marriages." At my confused look she smiled, "Out of all the women my age I am the only one to have been betrothed at the age of twelve."

"And that immediatley makes you the door to prosperity?"

"Yes. My future husband will one day be in charge of a very important Fief." Eliana cast a sideways glance at me as if she were inspecting something, "He is also quite handsome."

I was so pleased with this, I swear I couldn't stop smiling that night.

"You didn't turn out too bad yourself." I said. Eliana laughed at this, Mithros I love her laugh.

"Not to bad? I turned out to be the loveliest maiden you'll ever lay eyes on!" She said poking a finger to my chest. She had a very serious look on her face, but I knew she was kidding.

I walked her to her room that night, she stood in her doorway as she said goodnight.

"Goodnight." I said back, I leaned in suddenly to kiss her. Slowly I moved, my lips met the warm gentleness of... oak wood.

I removed myself from the closed door and couldn't help but smile. Over the past two years this girl, so awkward and boring... The ugly duckling has turned into swan.

God's what a girl!

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_I had an absolute, freakin blast writing this! And I hope you had an absolute, freakin blast reading it. ^_^ _

_Next chapter is Merrics trial!_

_God bless,_

_Alyss_


	10. The Trial

**I do have to admit that I did write this in a hurry. But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I love reveiws, so please send em my way!**

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**The Trial**

I opened the menacing door, its metal cold to the touch; inside there was no light, no hope of peace. I stepped inside anyway, the desire to be a knight bigger than my fears.

The door slid shut behind me, and I was alone.

At first nothing happened, it was just black and quiet. Then suddenly Eliana, or Elsie as I have started to call her, stood before me.

_Tears flowed freely from her beautiful grey eyes, my heart wrenched at the sight. "Merric? Merric why did you have to leave me?" her voice broke as she cried out, I tried to hug her but now she was a hundred feet away. I started running but got no closer to her. "Merric! Why have you gone!?"_

_I wanted to cry out to her that I was here, but I was forbidden to speak during my trial. _

_So I ran harder, this time she did get closer but now her face was covered in scratches and her dress was torn. I knelt to hold her, but as I did several people I knew and loved appeared before my eyes. My parents, Kel, Neal, Cleon, Faleron even Owen. They were all covered in blood, and their clothes were torn as well. I looked down at Elsie who was sobbing now, "Why have you gone?" she choked, but she wasn't looking at me she was looking at the ground. _

_I followed her gaze, there was a grave stone. _

_It was my gravestone._

_My heart thudded in my chest, but I knew what I had to do._

Suddenly the figures were gone, and I was alone again. The doors swung open allowing me to sumble out to greet applause from those fearing for me.

Donnigan was the first to meet me. He wrapped a blanket around my shoulders and started to lead me out.

My parents and Elsie were in the front row that night. I smiled at them as I turned, officially a knight. My father was beaming and my mother and Elsie were laughing with tears in their eyes.

I held up my new sheild, a red field with a golden eagles head and applause erupted.

Mostly from my friends and family.

Elsie stood up then and marched up to me, a determined look on her face, she grabbed the front of my tunic and pulled me towards her.

Her lips touched mine with delicate force, after a moment of shock I kissed her back.

There was more applause at that, then I heard Donnigan cry exasperation, "Finally!"

But I was lost entirely at that moment, I was kissing the girl of my dreams and not a blessed thing was going to ruin that moment.

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So there it is folks! I had fun writing it, even though I did write it in a hurry. ^_^ I think the next chapter is going to be the Epilogue... I don't know for sure yet.

God Bless

Alyss


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"The first time I saw one, I thought I had stepped into the nightmare of only the most troubled of souls. Creatures made to kill by using the souls of children. I was sick that first time. Grief and I, it seems, do not mix well. The villagers at Haven were the hardiest, crustiest people I had ever met and I was grateful to fight beside such fierce warriors. But I am ashamed, was and always will be that I let them get away. The enemy attacked and won and took them all, who weren't dead or injured. What's worse, I was incapable of going after them."

Grandfathers voice cracked with long forgotten terror and sadness, his clear blue eyes clouded over as he fell into momentary silence, I was scared to speak but I did anyway, "Grandfather?" I squeaked, "Hmm?" he looked at me forgetting his story for a moment. I ventured a question, "What happened to the villagers?"

Grandfather smiled then, "Oh, the enemy regretted ever capturing them. The Scanrans did not expect the villagers to put up a fight." He paused, "Nor did they expect their commander to care so much to come after them... with a small army of only the best warriors."

"Except you?"

"Aye. Except me."

'What happened next?"

"Well Kel rescued the older villagers first, sending them to me. Then she stormed the kidnappers castle to regain the children stolen from Haven."

'Haven?"

"The fort she was in command of. Any way, not only did she rescue the village children. She also defeated the creator of the nightmarish machines made from childrens souls."

Grandfathers voice was filled with awe at this lady warrior, which filled me with awe. Lady Kel must have been something out of legend! How I wanted to meet her! I wanted to be just like her when I finished my page training.

Grandmere walked into Grandfathers office at that moment, "Elli! Merric! What are you doing cooped up in here? We have guests. Come down stairs."

Grandmere said it, and so shall it be done.

Granfather and I followed her out of the office and down stairs to the dining room where Mama and Papa and my older brother River sat conversing with a familiar face. "Lady Keladry!" I rushed over to the always elegant Lady Knight and she caught me in a hug. "Elia! How are you?" she asked in her gravelly voice, "Just fine." I answered, "Grandpapa was telling me a magnificent story of the Lady Warrior Kel." The lady's eyebrows shot up, "Oh he was?" she asked and I nodded fervently then paused and turned to my Grandfather, "What was her crest?"

"Why?" he asked.

"So I might fashion my own shield after hers."

Grandfather sat beside me and looked me in the eyes, "Your shield will have your family crest on it. You know this."

"Yes. But would it be so bad to have it in the corner of my shield?"

The room burst out into laughter, but Lady Keladry turned me to face her, "Of course not. Your shield represents who you are as a person. How strong you are, how determined. If I remember correctly, her crest was that of an owl."

I smiled widley, "Thanks! I'm going to draw a sketch of it right now!"

Kel laughed as she watched the eleven year old girl rush out of the dining room and up to her Grandfather's study. "Was it a grand tale?" she asked her old friend. He smiled, "Of course."

"You made sure I won every battle? And was mighty from the beginning?"

"Of course."

They both smiled at eachother as Merrics son and daughter in law shook their heads in amusement at their daughters excitement. "Should we tell her?" Merric asked. "Let her dream for a few more years."

River looked from Kel to Merric confused, "Tell her what?"

**The End**

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I am so sorry that this took FOREVER to put out, but I hope this last chapter was worth it. I enjoyed writing it for ya'll.

That's it for Masochist!


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